Johnny has been playing drums since high school, on and off with Marty in many bands. He works as an Art Director for an advertising firm in Fargo.
Johnny plays Tama Starclassic drums, which he claims are the coolest thing ever in the history of the earth, with the possible exception of those little pre-sliced, individually wrapped slices of cheese. Johnny’s drums have no blinky lights.
Age: Early-forty-ish
Favorite drummers: Neil Peart, Bill Bruford, Terry Bozzio, Gina from the Go-Go’s
Favorite bands: Yes, Rush, Ice Q Hip Clone Rap T-Dog
Preferred drink: Bud Light (if micro-brews not available)
Songs That Maintain the Gravitational Cohesion of the Universe: The Gates of Delirium (Yes), At The End of the Day (Spock’s Beard), 2112 (Rush)
Johnny Factoids:
- The top of Johnny’s head is the only part of any human visible from space
- Johnny’s last drum kit endured over 462 billion stick hits in its lifetime
- The first thing Marty ever said to Johnny was “Watch the fuck out, man” as Johnny bashed his floor tom into Marty’s guitar at the high school talent show. They started a band the next day
- Johnny once urinated on a police car from a ninth story hotel balcony in Winnipeg
- Johnny’s bass drum foot gets drunk about 90 minutes before the rest of him does
- Johnny cannot play and talk at the same time. Marty often amuses himself during performances by asking Johnny confusing questions such as “Would you like a beer?” or “Would you like another beer”.
- Johnny’s favorite color is “beer-colored”